A gale of resistance was sweeping Northern Kurdistan. In Sur, Cizir, Gever, Hezex, and Nisêbîn… A shocked Turkish state would be brought to its knees. Street by street, house by house the youth of Northern Kurdistan would protect their honour against the invading enemy. Ingraining their names into history, an exhausted people would be revived with the idea of autonomy, of a life worth living. Thus, the resistance would begin.
Written by Martyr Zeryan Deniz Amed, a commander of the resistance, the translated Şırnex diaries will become a window to the reality of the heroes on the ground.
“Bury the martyrs in your heart, not in the ground,” the Peoples’ Leader Abdullah Öcalan.
His name is Siyabend. So, Hacı Lokman Birlik…
It is the name I heard most in Sirnak. Everybody tells a memory of him. He has made such a profound impact with his stance, friendship and militancy.
And I always remember him when I pass through where he was hit. He jumps into the street like an arrow, takes the B-7 and goes over the enemy. In the fire of that big anger, he ignites, rages. I feel his heart in my heart and then a pain sits on my chest. How did they drag you? That body tied to the panzers. How did nobody make a sound, how did they not wear their lives as shields to protect you?
Is it this easy for a child to fall, for a valiant to go like this? Your name is written on the walls, next to your name it has been written: “your blood will not be left on the ground.” The reality of martyrs, which your blood has mixed into, will overcome all the treachery. The courageous will overthrow the heartless.
This country will warm your breath. The springs blooming with your blood will defeat our nightmares. As long as dreams grow, they demand greatness. Like Siyabend, Rojbin, Yılmaz, Koçer, Agır, Xwinrej, Serhat, and Şervan.
I moved from the Dicle neighbourhood to the Cumhuriyet neighbourhood. I’ve been so nervous all day, I can’t talk. Things are not good. It was said that 60 people were killed in Cizre. Burned souls were photographed. They’re shattered. My heart won’t let me look. Is there no limit to war? We can’t do anything, I can’t do anything.
We are in the aim of the enemy but we can not evaluate the situation right, so we can not do anything. This makes me crazy. With so much expectation, we are just waiting. Cizre is waiting for us.
I discussed with comrade Helena, she proposed a self-sacrifice action. I think the same thing. I’m gonna go hit someplace. But it scares me not to get results. Otherwise, death is already deceased. We haven’t done much today.
Suffering… Grief, Sorrow…
And the curse of February is all over me. I’m drowning as if someone is strangling me. If we could break the plot’s curse with actions. It’s not late, but we’re late, I’m going to sleep just to end today, to forget myself …
The curse of February is all over me. The conspiracy is entering its 18th year. For 18 years we have not been able to free our leadership from captivity. As the years of captivity multiply, the curse of the conspiracy collapses upon us like a nightmare. How we endured this, how we accepted and extended the years. After seeing the latest pictures of the leadership, we curse ourselves. There was a huge explosion, loud siren sounds, I gotta get out.
A 600-pound mine exploded in Tekser, the new neighbourhood. The whole city was shaken. Suddenly I’m running there, longing to stay in a neighbourhood for more than 2 nights. This is beyond my will. We heard Nurhak was martyred in Cizre.
Martyrdoms are increasing, but it has still not been confirmed.
The actions are not cutting me. We have to do something more shocking. There are some partial attempts. The results are poor. Both endurance and balance need to be paid attention to. The stance of some needs to intervened with, maybe even investigated. But we need to try.
There are a lot of friends here that I get power from. For example, Sheikh has a very plain essence. Our Helena, I loved her from before. And here she is very supportive of me. I will walk with the power I get from these comrades.
You need to grasp life, not cling on to it.
So many things stacked up. On the 16th, Çektar was assassinated in Dicle. They said the bones of his foot were broken and his situation was critical. He was hospitalized because he was a civilian. He was executed by the police. All state institutions fully focused on destroying the Kurd. Patients who are wounded are not being treated.
We insist on keeping Ismet Pasha. Preparations are complete. The other day, while determining the barricades, the Tatars pulled a gun and raided us. Comrade Delil was injured, he was carried by crawling comrades. The streets where the trail of his blood still stains the ground. The Tatars are now armed against us.
Delil’s wound was mild, it became severe the other day. His heart stopped twice. It was intervened, he just lay in our arms. The worst thing is that there are no measures for health, and if the situation gets worse, martyrdoms will happen because there is no treatment for the injured. This is the situation. Delil is good now, but because he’s young he has little immunity.
They said that Bedri from Mıjin was also injured when he was dealing with Delil, and we brought him. His body is strong, but his right arm is torn. He could be crippled.
We insist on keeping the Ismet neighbourhood, and we need to act quickly because the enemy has operational preparations. We’re going to hit them first, and we’re going to hit them in the heart. But if some preparations are weak, and we don’t fight a new style, things will get worse.
We call it democratic autonomy, so governing yourself without the state. But the state is engraved in the minds, it dominates the spirits. Organizing in our own fields without the mercy of the state, self-management is weak.
It’s all on the guerrilla’s shoulders right now. And we will lift this weight, no problem.
Social spaces and politicians are experiencing betrayal. There are a few precious people, and they are devotedly sacrificing themselves. But there is no social organization. This is why everything is the guerrilla… organizational problems are high. Frankly, if I were on the mountain, I’d put an end to this, but it shouldn’t overshadow our war. Fortunately, Arjin came, the number of women increased. There’s a lot, but not everything. Quality, quality is important…
There is an intense war at Hezex right now, we don’t know the details. Cizir resisted to the marrow, it passed through the Crimea but did not kneel.
The latest photos came from the morgue again nobody knows, corpses are terrible, Kurdishness is wanted to be killed completely. We’ll pay whatever the price is but never kneel. Our share is to resist. Resisting beyond death, not till death. I miss Asia very much. Her place, her heart is so clear, oh how she went. All the people are talking about her. She had a throne in the hearts of everyone. I’m looking for her, yearning.
Çekdar is young with a smile on his face. His face, his laugh has been haunting me for days. I will live bravely for these valiant. A comrade must be brave to be a comrade. In every step I take, they’ll be in every bullet I throw. They’re my moment of winning. Resisting beyond death along with longing.
I’ve been stuck in the Cumhuriyet for a few days to keep Ismet Pasha. Preparations and interviews received partial results. We need to get a little political. We need to keep the neighbourhood in place without internal conflicts. We’ve done the planning for now and then we’ll practice it right away.
Last night a division of mines were spotted the division, but friends acted early and nothing happened. Bullet sounds were rising in the city. Bedri and Delil’s wounds are getting worse. It’s dangerous for us to keep it this way.
Today Agit came with the friends, we had the meeting, I had some criticisms. I made them, he had criticisms himself.
It isn’t the first time I have seen the man’s utilitarian approaches, but I can’t get used to it. How could they be so far from free consciousness? Is the male phenomenon so reverse?
There are many valuable male friends, but there are many aspects of masculinity in common, which is strange.
I’m tired of the intensity of the work. Nevertheless, I do not lose my determination. But we need to create innovation in our war style, tactics must be different, the enemy is preparing itself. We’re getting ready. It is a critical stage. I will make myself stronger and more powerful. With love…
Martyr Zeryan Deniz Amed
to be continued…